Yeah We Killed It, We Killed It All Night

This christmas, I have a rather unique gift request. It is something I very, very much want. Trust me, there is nothing you could give that could mean more.

I want you to describe me.

Clarifications:

I want at least one page.
You are describing me, not how I make you feel or how you feel about me.
I want faults/flaws/and blatant wrongs.
I'd also like my best features too if you could manage.
If you could, the more pages the better.
And another thing. Give at least a bit of thought as to how I see myself. Write about that if it seems worth including, since that's a pretty big part of me.

Please put a lot of thought into this.
I will appreciate it deeply.

-Out